Now, it may be that I have spent life expecting others to treat me with the respect I give to others, especially professionally but when I was sat, at 9.15am on Tuesday morning waiting for the Support Worker to come again as we had arranged two weeks before that I am expecting too much. They didn’t come, I didnt even get a phone call to apologise. After 2 hours of fretting and stressing, especially considering the day’s news regarding my #PIP (#PersonalIndependencePayment) as my already suicidal self had just called the DWP to tell them about new medical evidence only to find they had already rejected my claim a second time. I desperately needed someone to talk to but they didnt come. If I were a paying customer I would have taken my business elsewhere but this isnt an option. So instead I posted a comment on the Facebook page of #WDH expressing my anger and warning others that the ‘team’ are NOT to be trusted to turn up when they promise to. My experience was not a one-off though, it was the THIRD time in just 4 appointments where I had been left disappointed and frustrated.
Not surprisingly they responded quickly on fb to make them look like they care and the operator asked me to message them my details so they could forward it to the people in question. I did as asked and within about 20 minutes I had a call from said team, telling me how they had only learned of their colleagues absence AFTER my appointment time. This apparently means I should not expect a courtesy call to apologise from someone in the department. I was not happy. Not happy at all. I told as much too, I also told her that if this the kind of ‘help’ they gave to people in desperate need then they could keep that help as it was the sort I did NOT need. I hung up. She rang me back to try to wriggle out of it some more, I hung up again after telling her to not bother calling back. She left me alone.
I am by this point and decided to email head office so that they could take action to ensure that others who are relying on these people do not end up being failed by them too. I recommended that they should make sure that good courteous business practices are in place so that ‘service users’ (probably the most patronising term ever) where not going to be mistreated like this in future as I can imagine how someone in an even darker world than I am would finish up seeing this as the straw that broke the camels back and them deciding right then to end it all in desperation.
I havent had even a courtesy reply to my email, but hey why would I get one, from an organisation that is responsible for many thousands of social housing tenants they clearly havent time to be courteous to those that they deal with. I hope that they do listen to my concerns and act on them before someone dies but I am fairly sure they wont. When it does happen they will ring their hands and say something like “Well we TRIED to help them … honest!”.
So now, with my mental health in tatters and my financial world crashing down around my already shattered health and self-respect I have been let down again. Bloody marvelous. Especially after they made such a performance over my GP being so unacceptably unprofessional … eh .. Wondering now if trying to fight towards an appeal is worth the heartache and whether I would be better off just ending it. Trouble is that suicide takes guts and as I don’t have a gun to make it easier I may not get there. Perhaps I should think about sharing my pain with the DWP’s staff, by inflicting pain and disability on them so they personally realise just how inhuman they are being to others. If I am brutal enough doing this the police might shoot me, that would about sort it, provided the sniper is any good. Knowing my luck they would wing me or I would survive in a worsened medical state. I shall ponder this a while. I have a telephone consultation booked with Wakefield’s Mental Health service, they dont do face to face work, apparently for our benefit, to protect our confidentiality/identity. Means I dont know if the person I will be speaking to has ANY medical training at all. I think I will make that my first question as an untrained council worker could well prove very harmful, and that I can do without. When I had counselling in 2006 it made things worse. I hope this doesn’t. I will let you know over the weekend, providing I get that far. Wish me luck.